Monday, June 06, 2011
really cupid?????
as most of you guys know (or don't) i became single sometime in 09....i took some time off from the dating scene to focus on me....now that i have attempted to re-join the dating scene, i see why i left....my friend blombie introduced me to a singles website called okcupid...hmm ok i'll give it a whirl....it can't hurt right? (so i thought)...so i set up my profile and begin to answer questions in hopes that a "match" might be sent my way....so far it's been ok....but there's always one right? makes me wonder if i have something invisible tattooed to my forehead...but i digress...so i end up chatting with someone i'll call...willy wonka.....and no-this ain't the one from the movie...the conversation started out ok...you know, getting the basics out of the way...but i started to notice that every other question from him was regarding sex or some variation of the topic....umm o-o-ka-a-ay....if i wanted this topic of conversation i could always hop on adult friendfinder....it's these types of conversations that make me want to stay single...smh....i get that sex crosses a man's mind repeatedly during the day but this was overkill in my mind...some of his questions included: are you shaved?; do you squirt?; do you like oral?, yeah i'm not going to pollute your poor brain with anymore...needless to say i lost intrest in him really fast but being the polite person i am, i have yet to "officially" say dude, you're creeping me out-leave me the h*ll alone lol....i could always go the passive route and just ignore him (since i mistakenly gave him my # so we could text)...who knows my 2 readers?? so now i'm trying to decide if i want to erase my profile from the site or not....decisons, decisions....
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Speak Life
Today my words will be borrowed from Pastor Tangula Diggs....I must thank you for these inspiring words...too often many of us forget....
Speak life this year. No more negative talk about what you’re dealing with. Either you will trust the Lord through it or just shut up! It’s just that simple. Too many people are making their temporary situation longer than God intended because of the words that comes out of their mouths. God has given you the authority to speak those things which are not; as though they are. The enemy can’t win this battle, but you can forfeit it with the words that come out of your mouth. Stop saying, “You’re broke.” Stop saying, “I’m not going to make it through.” Stop saying, “I give up.” Stop it! God has brought you this far and because of it, He shall complete the journey He has for your life. Just speak life!
THOUGHT OF THE DAY……………………………….
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21
This is your year. Let me say it again….”This is your year!” With all that you’ve dealt with throughout the last year or so, it is now the year of recovery for you. It’s the year of restoration for you. But the first thing you have to do is line up with what God is trying to do for you with the words coming out of your mouth. If you continue to speak about 2010 in 2011, then you’ll miss what God has for you. Last year is gone, rejoice that you made it to this year and speak life over yourself and the circumstances that come with life.
Speak life this year. No more negative talk about what you’re dealing with. Either you will trust the Lord through it or just shut up! It’s just that simple. Too many people are making their temporary situation longer than God intended because of the words that comes out of their mouths. God has given you the authority to speak those things which are not; as though they are. The enemy can’t win this battle, but you can forfeit it with the words that come out of your mouth. Stop saying, “You’re broke.” Stop saying, “I’m not going to make it through.” Stop saying, “I give up.” Stop it! God has brought you this far and because of it, He shall complete the journey He has for your life. Just speak life!
THOUGHT OF THE DAY……………………………….
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21
This is your year. Let me say it again….”This is your year!” With all that you’ve dealt with throughout the last year or so, it is now the year of recovery for you. It’s the year of restoration for you. But the first thing you have to do is line up with what God is trying to do for you with the words coming out of your mouth. If you continue to speak about 2010 in 2011, then you’ll miss what God has for you. Last year is gone, rejoice that you made it to this year and speak life over yourself and the circumstances that come with life.
Thursday, October 07, 2010
A very short story......
I laid back in my bed, closed my eyes and thought of him. Tall, thick, broad-shoulders, massive chest....body looking like it was dipped in Hershey's chocolate. Just the thought of his lips makes me lick mine. It had been a long time since I'd spoken to him. Our last meeting played through my mind like it was yesterday......
"So did you miss me today?", he asks me looking at me from beneath the longest thickest lashes I've ever seen on a man. This man just radiated masculinity and raw sexuality. He was leaning against the wall in my bed room where he had stood since he walked in the house. My room seemed to shrink the longer he stood there.
"You know I did daddy", I said rubbing myself against his massive chest. Tracing my fingers up and down his stomach. Loving the way his skin rubbed against mine. I looked up at him and said "So you said you had a present for me. What is it?"
He scooped me up into his arms. I loved that about him. I'm no small girl by any means but the fact that he could pick me up and sit me on his forearms effortlessly just made me gush. He looked at me again from beneath those luscious lashes and said, "I wanted to eat some cookies" and then he turned around and leaned me against the wall. He had me straddled across his arms in such a way that all he had to do was stick out his tongue and stroke my clit. And stroke he did. He caressed and teased me until I couldn't stop shaking. Bracing myself against the wall with my hands I could barely withstand the onslaught of his mouth on me. It was like waves crashing over and over until I felt limp. He licked down the crevices in my hips and thighs making sure not to miss a drop while I whimpered from my skin being hypersensitive. He lowered me until he was cradling me in his arm and took me over to my massive king sized bed. He laid me down on my stomach and though I felt like I couldn't possibly feel any better than I did at that moment I knew it was about to get better.
He put on the condom (he fills out a black Magnum quite nicely, by the way) and slowly rubbed his head back and forth against the entrance to my wet warmth. He pushed it in and out a couple of times teasing me with his moves. He reached down and started rubbing my already ultra-sensitive bud with his fingers while slowly, inch-by-inch he entered me. He took a deep breath and plunged. I could feel him in my throat!! He eased back and forth, in and out slowly so my body could adjust to his size. He raked his fingernails lightly up and down my back, making me shiver. Then he began to speed up the tempo. Over and over he rammed into me from behind until I couldn't take it anymore and collapsed to the bed. He kept going. Sweat was pouring off of his shoulders and face onto me. I could feel it trickling down my spine. "You love this dick, don't you? " he said as he slowed down his pace again. All I could do was whimper. By this point he had grabbed my hips and held my ass in the air so he could get to it better. He slowly pulled out, his girth rubbing every wall sending shivers through my body. He reached around to my front and began to caress and tease my nipples. They were rock hard instantly. Then he began to pick up the pace again. In and out. In and out. Harder and harder. I felt something release and I saw stars shoot behind my eyes. At the same moment I heard a deep rumble in his chest as he gritted his teeth through his own orgasm. We shook for a moment together and I collapsed again, this time on his chest as we had both fallen to the bed. Tangled, sweaty, and sated we fell asleep.
I awoke the next morning to a note that read:
I haven't been completely honest with you. You will never see me again. I am leaving today for Paris to get married. I'm sorry for hurting you but I couldn't stand to see the look of pain I know is painted across your face as you read this. Please know that if I could change the way things are I would. I had obligations before I met you that I was never man enough to tell you about. I hope that you don't hate me. You deserve better anyway....Alex
I don't hate him. He gave me the best moments to remember him by. He's who I think about on those nights when I'm feeling lonely and pull out "Ol Trusty". Ladies, you know how it is....
"So did you miss me today?", he asks me looking at me from beneath the longest thickest lashes I've ever seen on a man. This man just radiated masculinity and raw sexuality. He was leaning against the wall in my bed room where he had stood since he walked in the house. My room seemed to shrink the longer he stood there.
"You know I did daddy", I said rubbing myself against his massive chest. Tracing my fingers up and down his stomach. Loving the way his skin rubbed against mine. I looked up at him and said "So you said you had a present for me. What is it?"
He scooped me up into his arms. I loved that about him. I'm no small girl by any means but the fact that he could pick me up and sit me on his forearms effortlessly just made me gush. He looked at me again from beneath those luscious lashes and said, "I wanted to eat some cookies" and then he turned around and leaned me against the wall. He had me straddled across his arms in such a way that all he had to do was stick out his tongue and stroke my clit. And stroke he did. He caressed and teased me until I couldn't stop shaking. Bracing myself against the wall with my hands I could barely withstand the onslaught of his mouth on me. It was like waves crashing over and over until I felt limp. He licked down the crevices in my hips and thighs making sure not to miss a drop while I whimpered from my skin being hypersensitive. He lowered me until he was cradling me in his arm and took me over to my massive king sized bed. He laid me down on my stomach and though I felt like I couldn't possibly feel any better than I did at that moment I knew it was about to get better.
He put on the condom (he fills out a black Magnum quite nicely, by the way) and slowly rubbed his head back and forth against the entrance to my wet warmth. He pushed it in and out a couple of times teasing me with his moves. He reached down and started rubbing my already ultra-sensitive bud with his fingers while slowly, inch-by-inch he entered me. He took a deep breath and plunged. I could feel him in my throat!! He eased back and forth, in and out slowly so my body could adjust to his size. He raked his fingernails lightly up and down my back, making me shiver. Then he began to speed up the tempo. Over and over he rammed into me from behind until I couldn't take it anymore and collapsed to the bed. He kept going. Sweat was pouring off of his shoulders and face onto me. I could feel it trickling down my spine. "You love this dick, don't you? " he said as he slowed down his pace again. All I could do was whimper. By this point he had grabbed my hips and held my ass in the air so he could get to it better. He slowly pulled out, his girth rubbing every wall sending shivers through my body. He reached around to my front and began to caress and tease my nipples. They were rock hard instantly. Then he began to pick up the pace again. In and out. In and out. Harder and harder. I felt something release and I saw stars shoot behind my eyes. At the same moment I heard a deep rumble in his chest as he gritted his teeth through his own orgasm. We shook for a moment together and I collapsed again, this time on his chest as we had both fallen to the bed. Tangled, sweaty, and sated we fell asleep.
I awoke the next morning to a note that read:
I haven't been completely honest with you. You will never see me again. I am leaving today for Paris to get married. I'm sorry for hurting you but I couldn't stand to see the look of pain I know is painted across your face as you read this. Please know that if I could change the way things are I would. I had obligations before I met you that I was never man enough to tell you about. I hope that you don't hate me. You deserve better anyway....Alex
I don't hate him. He gave me the best moments to remember him by. He's who I think about on those nights when I'm feeling lonely and pull out "Ol Trusty". Ladies, you know how it is....
Define a relationship......
So I recently had a friend go through a very unpleasant and disrespectful experience. What do you do when someone you consider just a "friend" pops up at your home unannounced while you are entertaining company???? Let's say said "friend" storms in your house. Walks around slamming doors like they live there. Basically they just show their ass. How did we get to this point???
Let's start with the man-You have a girlfriend (that you live with), you have "groupies" that claim to "love' you because of your job. In your mind your the man! You've got females fighting over you, wanting to be with you. Then you've got this female that you consider a friend. You're close. You can "be yourself" around her. She knows about all the many females in your life. You might sleep together occasionally. You call her your best friend.
Now to the female-You know all of his business. You help him look for a job, fill out applications, etc because the other females he deals with can't or won't. You have him take your car to be serviced. You ask him to drop off a bill payment somewhere while you're at work. You let him use your car. You used to let him stay at your house while you were gone. You let him know you're seeing someone else...sometimes. Though if you're asked you consider yourself to be single. He knows every step you make and with whom as you know his.
Where did the problem come in???? How did you go from being "friends" to contemplating a 50-B? Well my friends it's simple. Though she considered herself single and saw other people her actions portrayed a relationship. Granted it wasn't your "usual" or "typical" relationship but it was a relationship nonetheless. When you spend time with someone regularly there is a very real possibility that one or both parties will start to develop feelings. The issue comes in when you try to remain "friends" instead of cutting ties completely. Going out together, taking trips together, doing things for each other....these things walk the thin line between a simple friendship and a relationship.
We as women have a hard time setting expectations and standards when it comes to the men in our lives. We have an even harder time MAKING the men in our lives live up the our standards and expectations. When you settle for less, that is exactly what you will get. Not making a man live up to your expectations and/or standards leads us to the problem my friend experienced. Her "friend" showed up acting like he was her man causing to her lose a good friend and what could have possibly been a good significant other.
Could this situation have been avoided? My answer is yes. When we as women start to speak our minds, making the men in our lives be men, making sure the live up the standards and expectations set for them we can avoid these situations. Consider this: In the beginning you tell him you don't want anything more than friendship. When he started to develop those feelings that was the time to take a step back and say "Listen I'm not ready for this" or even "I don't want to be in a relationship". Or a conversation could have been had from the beginning-I like you. I think you're OK. I just want to sleep with you though, because I don't want a relationship right now. (Not that it helps-honestly sex only complicates things more)This definitely could have prevented said man (or woman) from popping up at your house. Please don't think I'm being unfair. There are plenty of good men out there right now miserable because they lowered their standards or expectations of the woman in their lives. This is not a gender specific problem.
Men and women both have problems discerning when to allow someone to continue being in their lives. I've seen both men and women stay in toxic relationships because it was "comfortable" or "familiar" or maybe because they had been so mentally abused they actually believed it when the other person said "No one will want you but me". Everyone is not meant to be in your life forever. We've all seen the chain email that speaks of people being in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Most of the people we interact with are seasonal friends or reason friends. They came into your life for a reason-to help you learn some type of lesson. Seasonal friends are just that-seasonal. We need to learn when to let these people go. Lifetime friends don't come along all that often so if you have one and can recognize them as such, hold onto them!! Those are the friends we call angels. As Pastor Williams says, stop trying to hold onto something that God has not ordained for you! Speaking from my experiences I can say it only brings heartache.
So who was right and who was wrong? This is one of those situations where you can't really place blame. Yeah some people might say that he was wrong for just popping up like that (he was) but at the same time she was wrong for continuing to feed into the "friendship". If he had been a real man he wouldn't have cared who was at her house because it's not his concern. His girlfriend should be his concern. If she had been more honest with either guy(the one who popped up or the good friend she lost) the situation might have turned out differently. He might not have popped up. Her friend may have understood the situation better. But life is not lived on maybes, should'ves, or would'ves. So my friends learn from this lesson. Be honest up front with anyone you think you may interested in romantically. Let then know what you will accept and what you won't accept and stick to it!! Above all that, be honest with yourself. After all, lying to yourself doesn't help in any way. Learn when to walk away (even if it hurts). Learn when to speak up. Who knows what could happen the next time? I don't want to see any of my friends, loved ones, or enemies on the news over a situation like this.
Peace and love.
Let's start with the man-You have a girlfriend (that you live with), you have "groupies" that claim to "love' you because of your job. In your mind your the man! You've got females fighting over you, wanting to be with you. Then you've got this female that you consider a friend. You're close. You can "be yourself" around her. She knows about all the many females in your life. You might sleep together occasionally. You call her your best friend.
Now to the female-You know all of his business. You help him look for a job, fill out applications, etc because the other females he deals with can't or won't. You have him take your car to be serviced. You ask him to drop off a bill payment somewhere while you're at work. You let him use your car. You used to let him stay at your house while you were gone. You let him know you're seeing someone else...sometimes. Though if you're asked you consider yourself to be single. He knows every step you make and with whom as you know his.
Where did the problem come in???? How did you go from being "friends" to contemplating a 50-B? Well my friends it's simple. Though she considered herself single and saw other people her actions portrayed a relationship. Granted it wasn't your "usual" or "typical" relationship but it was a relationship nonetheless. When you spend time with someone regularly there is a very real possibility that one or both parties will start to develop feelings. The issue comes in when you try to remain "friends" instead of cutting ties completely. Going out together, taking trips together, doing things for each other....these things walk the thin line between a simple friendship and a relationship.
We as women have a hard time setting expectations and standards when it comes to the men in our lives. We have an even harder time MAKING the men in our lives live up the our standards and expectations. When you settle for less, that is exactly what you will get. Not making a man live up to your expectations and/or standards leads us to the problem my friend experienced. Her "friend" showed up acting like he was her man causing to her lose a good friend and what could have possibly been a good significant other.
Could this situation have been avoided? My answer is yes. When we as women start to speak our minds, making the men in our lives be men, making sure the live up the standards and expectations set for them we can avoid these situations. Consider this: In the beginning you tell him you don't want anything more than friendship. When he started to develop those feelings that was the time to take a step back and say "Listen I'm not ready for this" or even "I don't want to be in a relationship". Or a conversation could have been had from the beginning-I like you. I think you're OK. I just want to sleep with you though, because I don't want a relationship right now. (Not that it helps-honestly sex only complicates things more)This definitely could have prevented said man (or woman) from popping up at your house. Please don't think I'm being unfair. There are plenty of good men out there right now miserable because they lowered their standards or expectations of the woman in their lives. This is not a gender specific problem.
Men and women both have problems discerning when to allow someone to continue being in their lives. I've seen both men and women stay in toxic relationships because it was "comfortable" or "familiar" or maybe because they had been so mentally abused they actually believed it when the other person said "No one will want you but me". Everyone is not meant to be in your life forever. We've all seen the chain email that speaks of people being in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Most of the people we interact with are seasonal friends or reason friends. They came into your life for a reason-to help you learn some type of lesson. Seasonal friends are just that-seasonal. We need to learn when to let these people go. Lifetime friends don't come along all that often so if you have one and can recognize them as such, hold onto them!! Those are the friends we call angels. As Pastor Williams says, stop trying to hold onto something that God has not ordained for you! Speaking from my experiences I can say it only brings heartache.
So who was right and who was wrong? This is one of those situations where you can't really place blame. Yeah some people might say that he was wrong for just popping up like that (he was) but at the same time she was wrong for continuing to feed into the "friendship". If he had been a real man he wouldn't have cared who was at her house because it's not his concern. His girlfriend should be his concern. If she had been more honest with either guy(the one who popped up or the good friend she lost) the situation might have turned out differently. He might not have popped up. Her friend may have understood the situation better. But life is not lived on maybes, should'ves, or would'ves. So my friends learn from this lesson. Be honest up front with anyone you think you may interested in romantically. Let then know what you will accept and what you won't accept and stick to it!! Above all that, be honest with yourself. After all, lying to yourself doesn't help in any way. Learn when to walk away (even if it hurts). Learn when to speak up. Who knows what could happen the next time? I don't want to see any of my friends, loved ones, or enemies on the news over a situation like this.
Peace and love.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
A Very Rough Draft....
*******WARNING*********
If you do not read erotica or have prejudiced ideas of what erotica is than you do NOT need to read this post. This is the first chapter of a rough draft of a book I started writing a few years ago. I think that the writing bug has bitten me again and I have moved past my previous writer's block. Please keep in mind that some facts have been mixed with fiction. All names have been changed to protect the innocent. (*wink) With that being said, please read, enjoy and comment. I'm still trying to decide on a title. Peace and love.
If you do not read erotica or have prejudiced ideas of what erotica is than you do NOT need to read this post. This is the first chapter of a rough draft of a book I started writing a few years ago. I think that the writing bug has bitten me again and I have moved past my previous writer's block. Please keep in mind that some facts have been mixed with fiction. All names have been changed to protect the innocent. (*wink) With that being said, please read, enjoy and comment. I'm still trying to decide on a title. Peace and love.
Chapter one
It all started like this......
Lost. Confused. Lonely. Frustration. Why do I feel all of these things? Its
crazy the way my mind flits back and forth like Aaliyah thoughts changing so
rapidly. Hard to keep focus on my goal. Always looking for something to soothe
my soul scared of the unknown. Not ready to take the leap. Scared of what it
could mean. Not sure if I’m ready to meet me.
They say real life is stranger than fiction and that you should never say never. I'm a firm believer in both of those statements. Coming from a middle size city where just by growing up there you eventually learn who everybody is and where everybody knows you can be stressful to say the least. My name is Michelle Marie Johnson. I grew up in Greensboro, NC. For those of you with the lost look , its the city where they hold the ACC tourney. Anyway me and most of my family are from here and for the most part stayed here. I grew up in a middle class neighborhood with middle class folk. My mother lived with my grandparents while I was coming up and just kinda stayed there. My father lives in Chicago where I think he should stay. (We might come back to him later.) Anyway, like I was saying ( you have to bear with me, sometimes I lose focus) my city is just small enough and just big enough that everyone can know your name and your business without ever having met you. (But I guess that could be in any town.) I’ve come a long way from there.
That’s part of how I ended up in the Queens City of Charlotte, NC. At the age of 25 I decided I needed a change, packed up my shit, kissed my baby girl goodbye and decided to go. My baby girl. I miss her so much. Everybody thought this move was about me but every thing I do is for her. I had my daughter fresh out of high school, my freshman year of college. I wouldn’t change it then if I could. My daughter is the motivation for everything I do. You see I’m what they call "a jack of all trades, master of none" except for smoking. Yes America, I smoke weed. It came from the earth for us.
Getting back to my story, I came to Charlotte on the strength of a man. Yeah I know its 2006 and understand the whole independent woman thing but this was different. (Or so I thought) see I met this guy online. (I know, I know should have known better) I got bored one night I was home alone and posted some naked pics on this website. Well, these 42 DDs got me more attention than I was looking to get. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those ugly chicks looking for love. I’m 5'3 and a red bone to my heart. I weigh around 170 and have what thefellas call a thick body. Somewhat small waist and wide hips. I’ve never had an ass but could always make up for it with my breasts. (They come in handy sometimes) I have what people call "good hair" though I’ve cut it more times than I care to remember. My hair is the only good thing my daddy gave me besides my complexion. I decided to stop putting relaxers in it so now its super curly. Sometimes I get mistaken for being Mexican or Puerto Rican but its all good . The tattoos I have just make me look all the more Dominican.
So I posted my pics and was online checking my email when I get this IM from some guy. Now this wasn't anything new cause you had to give an email address on your profile for the site. So me and this guy start chatting. He tells me his name is Mike and he moved to NC from Philadelphia, Pa. One thing I forgot to mention-I’m bisexual. So hes trying to see if I can kick enough game to his wife to see if shell do a threesome one day. He decides that he should test me out first. Cool with me. I didn’t have a man and after the last one, I wasn’t looking to fill his place just yet. So we made arrangements for him to come and chill with me in Greensboro. At the time I had a 3 bedroom condo and a roommate on the "white" side of town. Now I will admit the only reason I let him come was because he was so fucking cool. When he first met me he told me, "I’m that nigga." but I thought he was just spittin that shit niggas talk to get the ass. I have to admit that for all my female wisdom I have the mind set and mentality of a man. I guess its because I don’t really hang out with females. So I really thought he was just feeding me a line. But we clicked almost immediately. From the time we talked on the phone until we finally met in person. We had the same attitude about sex, life, people. We liked the same sports, music, and of course we were both smokers.
The day he came to see me my boo was fresh. Top to bottom. From the fresh fitted, to the crisp white tee, to the jeans, to the fresh pair of lo an behold not standard Nike Air Force Ones but the clean fresh pair of Adidas. His skin was a creamy milk chocolate complexion. No blemishes, no marks just soft and smooth. He had a fresh baldy a couple of days earlier but the hair had just started to grow back. He had deep dark brown eyes and the kind of lips that begged to be kissed. I might have fronted when we first met but I knew then and there I had to have him. He was waiting for me at the gas station up the street from my house. I pulled up next to him in my 02 Mitsubishi Galant and hit him with that old Mystikal line- somebody said you was looking for me. Then I killed him with my Colgate smile. I told him to keep up and went to the crib. Let me just say at this point that I drive like a bat out of hell. Kyle petty has nothing on me. We pulled up at the crib and he followed me inside.
We'd had an earlier discussion on the points of having tall beds, so he walked into my room and said, " You have a high bed but it ain’t higher than mine" and sat down. (Just for the record, I have 2 mattresses on my bed and my roommate literally had to jump just to sit on my bed.)
We started watching the NBA playoffs and kicking it with a couple of my people that had come over. You see, my place was the unofficial party and smoke house. It was a guarantee that someone would show up with weed to smoke and a story to tell like Biggie regardless of the time day or night. So me, Mike and my homegirl Cordelia were chilling in my room. Cordelia is cool as hell. Shes from Syracuse, NY and never lost the accent after hitting the south. Cordelia is gay and dates my roommate's best friend. She's as sweet as she can be. Fiercely loyal to her friends, I know if ever I needed backup shes one of the first people I'd call. Cordelia’s the butch type so we call her Dee for short. Dee began schooling me and Mike on the type of relationship we were going to have. She already knew he was married and that this was gonna be a one time thing.
She said, "He's a Scorpio-ho and you’re a Sagittarius so the best thing for y’all to do is keep your feet off the floor and stay in the bed. As soon as your feet hit the floor y’all are gonna be beefing. Stay in the bed and y’all will get along because sex between those two signs is serious." We laughed it off while we were smoking. Can I just tell y’all my boo came through with that fire?! I’m talkin bout by the time we put that blunt out I was flying sky high. After telling Dee no she couldn’t watch us have sex she left and I locked the door.
Mike looked at me and said, " You can't follow directions. I told you when I got here to let the girls free. I wasn’t playing nigga let them bitches go." Laughing because I liked his directness I took off my bra and climbed on the bed. We lay there watching the game and I felt his hand rubbing on my thigh. Then he threw my legs open with such force that I flash backed to Belly. You know, the movie where that sexy ass DMX fucked the shit out of that girl. I’ve always loved a man that could be forceful in the bedroom. He began to slide his finger in and out of my love so smoothly I couldn’t move. I was literally paralyzed. He rubbed, he stroked my clit and added another finger and I almost came. By this point he has me writhing all over the bed. He took his finger out and stuck it in his mouth and sucked off my juices.
Then he looked me dead in the eye and said, " You should be eating my dick right now". Now I had already told this nigga I don’t like giving head. I was spoiled by the men in my life. Giving head was never a request I got and not something I indulged in too often. So I told him that giving head wasn’t my specialty. I started by licking up and down his thick shaft like it was a lollipop before I popped the head in my mouth. I slowly started sucking building up momentum while I swirled my tongue around his head. I could feel him trying to fit more into my mouth but I grabbed his dick with my hand and started jacking the length of him that wouldn’t fit in my mouth. Up and down my head bobbed until I thought I would be dizzy. Finally I lifted my head up and laid back.
"My mouth hurts."
"Well, you lied. You told me that wasn’t your specialty. Nigga you could have fooled me." Then he pulled me on top of him. I could feel all 8 inches and 3/4 throbbing against my clit. My pussy was throbbing to have him inside of me. I didn’t have any condoms in my room so I called my roommate in her room and asked her to bring me a condom. Her part- time boyfriend stuck it under my door and it was on and poppin.
Mike had asked me if I had ever been ridden before and my response was an uncertain, " I don’t know." Let me just say, when a man rides you and knows what hes doing, you don’t forget it. He put that condom and turned me over into my favorite position. Doggystyle. Then he rode the hell outta my ass. I had to grab onto both sides of the bed to keep from falling. Even then, (and I still don’t know how he did it) I ended up on my head . I looked to the left and then to the right and saw his feet planted firmly on the floor even though he was still banging my ass. He had to pull me back onto the bed. I tried to ride him but his dick was so big and thick that once I got on it I couldn’t move. It was like I sat down and it went straight into my guts. He was like, " Move on it. Bounce on it, do something."
" I cant. I cant move. I’m stuck. For real, my legs wont move."
" Dam, nigga I gotta do all the work? come here lil momma, let me show you something." He laid me on my back, put my legs on his shoulders and went to work. All I can say is that day that man put something on me. I had never been put to sleep so good.
I knew he had to get back down the road and it took all of my self-control to keep myself from begging him to stay. I kissed him on the cheek and told him to be safe going down the road because it was a little after 12:30 when he left. He wanted to kiss me on the lips but I told him that was too personal. Besides, I knew if I kissed him then, I would lose all hope of holding onto the "no strings attached" rule that I had in place.
So I posted my pics and was online checking my email when I get this IM from some guy. Now this wasn't anything new cause you had to give an email address on your profile for the site. So me and this guy start chatting. He tells me his name is Mike and he moved to NC from Philadelphia, Pa. One thing I forgot to mention-I’m bisexual. So hes trying to see if I can kick enough game to his wife to see if shell do a threesome one day. He decides that he should test me out first. Cool with me. I didn’t have a man and after the last one, I wasn’t looking to fill his place just yet. So we made arrangements for him to come and chill with me in Greensboro. At the time I had a 3 bedroom condo and a roommate on the "white" side of town. Now I will admit the only reason I let him come was because he was so fucking cool. When he first met me he told me, "I’m that nigga." but I thought he was just spittin that shit niggas talk to get the ass. I have to admit that for all my female wisdom I have the mind set and mentality of a man. I guess its because I don’t really hang out with females. So I really thought he was just feeding me a line. But we clicked almost immediately. From the time we talked on the phone until we finally met in person. We had the same attitude about sex, life, people. We liked the same sports, music, and of course we were both smokers.
The day he came to see me my boo was fresh. Top to bottom. From the fresh fitted, to the crisp white tee, to the jeans, to the fresh pair of lo an behold not standard Nike Air Force Ones but the clean fresh pair of Adidas. His skin was a creamy milk chocolate complexion. No blemishes, no marks just soft and smooth. He had a fresh baldy a couple of days earlier but the hair had just started to grow back. He had deep dark brown eyes and the kind of lips that begged to be kissed. I might have fronted when we first met but I knew then and there I had to have him. He was waiting for me at the gas station up the street from my house. I pulled up next to him in my 02 Mitsubishi Galant and hit him with that old Mystikal line- somebody said you was looking for me. Then I killed him with my Colgate smile. I told him to keep up and went to the crib. Let me just say at this point that I drive like a bat out of hell. Kyle petty has nothing on me. We pulled up at the crib and he followed me inside.
We'd had an earlier discussion on the points of having tall beds, so he walked into my room and said, " You have a high bed but it ain’t higher than mine" and sat down. (Just for the record, I have 2 mattresses on my bed and my roommate literally had to jump just to sit on my bed.)
We started watching the NBA playoffs and kicking it with a couple of my people that had come over. You see, my place was the unofficial party and smoke house. It was a guarantee that someone would show up with weed to smoke and a story to tell like Biggie regardless of the time day or night. So me, Mike and my homegirl Cordelia were chilling in my room. Cordelia is cool as hell. Shes from Syracuse, NY and never lost the accent after hitting the south. Cordelia is gay and dates my roommate's best friend. She's as sweet as she can be. Fiercely loyal to her friends, I know if ever I needed backup shes one of the first people I'd call. Cordelia’s the butch type so we call her Dee for short. Dee began schooling me and Mike on the type of relationship we were going to have. She already knew he was married and that this was gonna be a one time thing.
She said, "He's a Scorpio-ho and you’re a Sagittarius so the best thing for y’all to do is keep your feet off the floor and stay in the bed. As soon as your feet hit the floor y’all are gonna be beefing. Stay in the bed and y’all will get along because sex between those two signs is serious." We laughed it off while we were smoking. Can I just tell y’all my boo came through with that fire?! I’m talkin bout by the time we put that blunt out I was flying sky high. After telling Dee no she couldn’t watch us have sex she left and I locked the door.
Mike looked at me and said, " You can't follow directions. I told you when I got here to let the girls free. I wasn’t playing nigga let them bitches go." Laughing because I liked his directness I took off my bra and climbed on the bed. We lay there watching the game and I felt his hand rubbing on my thigh. Then he threw my legs open with such force that I flash backed to Belly. You know, the movie where that sexy ass DMX fucked the shit out of that girl. I’ve always loved a man that could be forceful in the bedroom. He began to slide his finger in and out of my love so smoothly I couldn’t move. I was literally paralyzed. He rubbed, he stroked my clit and added another finger and I almost came. By this point he has me writhing all over the bed. He took his finger out and stuck it in his mouth and sucked off my juices.
Then he looked me dead in the eye and said, " You should be eating my dick right now". Now I had already told this nigga I don’t like giving head. I was spoiled by the men in my life. Giving head was never a request I got and not something I indulged in too often. So I told him that giving head wasn’t my specialty. I started by licking up and down his thick shaft like it was a lollipop before I popped the head in my mouth. I slowly started sucking building up momentum while I swirled my tongue around his head. I could feel him trying to fit more into my mouth but I grabbed his dick with my hand and started jacking the length of him that wouldn’t fit in my mouth. Up and down my head bobbed until I thought I would be dizzy. Finally I lifted my head up and laid back.
"My mouth hurts."
"Well, you lied. You told me that wasn’t your specialty. Nigga you could have fooled me." Then he pulled me on top of him. I could feel all 8 inches and 3/4 throbbing against my clit. My pussy was throbbing to have him inside of me. I didn’t have any condoms in my room so I called my roommate in her room and asked her to bring me a condom. Her part- time boyfriend stuck it under my door and it was on and poppin.
Mike had asked me if I had ever been ridden before and my response was an uncertain, " I don’t know." Let me just say, when a man rides you and knows what hes doing, you don’t forget it. He put that condom and turned me over into my favorite position. Doggystyle. Then he rode the hell outta my ass. I had to grab onto both sides of the bed to keep from falling. Even then, (and I still don’t know how he did it) I ended up on my head . I looked to the left and then to the right and saw his feet planted firmly on the floor even though he was still banging my ass. He had to pull me back onto the bed. I tried to ride him but his dick was so big and thick that once I got on it I couldn’t move. It was like I sat down and it went straight into my guts. He was like, " Move on it. Bounce on it, do something."
" I cant. I cant move. I’m stuck. For real, my legs wont move."
" Dam, nigga I gotta do all the work? come here lil momma, let me show you something." He laid me on my back, put my legs on his shoulders and went to work. All I can say is that day that man put something on me. I had never been put to sleep so good.
I knew he had to get back down the road and it took all of my self-control to keep myself from begging him to stay. I kissed him on the cheek and told him to be safe going down the road because it was a little after 12:30 when he left. He wanted to kiss me on the lips but I told him that was too personal. Besides, I knew if I kissed him then, I would lose all hope of holding onto the "no strings attached" rule that I had in place.
Friday, August 13, 2010
What is the world coming to??????
I just read an especially heart-warming story in the NY Post about an executive who lent her card to a homeless man. He went to the store, purchased body wash, deodorant, vitamin water, and a pack of cigarettes. He then returned the card to the owner. It lifted my heart to read that there are still generous people in this world. People who still trust their fellow man. People who follow the word and truly believe it when it comes to helping your brother or sister. What disappointed me were the comments posted beneath the article. This man and woman were ostracized for a simple act of kindness...or for the generation Y people, A Random act of Kindness (ARK; a la Evan Almighty). How often are we kind to those truly in need? Who are we to judge someone based on their circumstances? Their purchases? Who are we to say that he's lazy and just needs to get a job? I don't know about you but EVERYONE is looking for a job nowadays...The economy has not been nice to a lot of people. Families are losing their homes everyday (and I speak from experience). I am thankful that I'm blessed to have a job to provide for my family. My hope is that we will one day be able to assist each other instead of being so quick to condemn them. Prayers go out to you Mr. Valentine. I hope that you are blessed with a job that will get you back off of those streets. Kudos to you Ms. Harris for being a blessing to someone else. Maybe someone will see your example and feel compassion towards the next homeless person they meet. One of the comments stated that all homeless people are not the same. I agree whole-heartedly. We can't judge anyone without first knowing their story or walking in their shoes. Be blessed.....
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Somebody Tell Me.....
Can someone explain to me........why is that when you finally decide to get rid of the toxic people in your life, they won't let go????? There is always an excuse to call, to text, to want to see you. I'm sorry but if you break it off, that usually means it's over-right? You don't ride past the person's house. You don't send text messages to figure out where they are. When something is over, it's just that-over. Let it go. I can't understand why people try so hard to hang on to something that isn't good for them to begin with. Random thought for the day.......Feel free to comment.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Confused
This is mainly directed at all of my male friends. Steve Harvey said a man cheats because he can and because there is always a woman willing to be a participant. From past experience I can say that is true but fellas answer me this: If a man is getting everything he needs at home (dinner, clean clothes, good loving, holding down the bills when needed, etc) why step out??? I mean really, why go elsewhere? It's so much harder for a woman to recover from such a cruel blow. I mean, honestly, I have thought and looked and tried to figure out what it was about me that made him go elsewhere. I've had friends (male and female) tell me that it wasn't me. That it was him. On some level I believe them, but there's still that little voice that says there was something about me that wasn't good enough. Past all of that, what do you do when the cheater wants to work it out???? How can I as a smart, well-educated woman want to subject myself to that again? I realized so much once I became single again. Like, I had lost myself in him. My opinions and thoughts didn't matter. There was no compromise. I was slightly brainwashed. I felt myself becoming one of those women who end up in those relationships you see on Maury. Being told what to wear, constantly checking in, constantly explaining myself. It was the grace of God that made me realize that this is not what I'm supposed to be going through. I took the relationship as a learning lesson of what NOT to accept in the future. This may not make sense to some...I know I've rambled and switched topics more than a little bit but I just had to know...why would a man cheat on a good woman??????????
Friday, August 21, 2009
Living This Day Like.....
This post will not be my own writing....this post is a beautiful piece of work written my someone I consider my own personal angel.....Her name is Lady E and keep your eyes open....she's gonna be a well known person one day!.. Erica continue to spread your message of love, hope, and redemption.....I love ya girl!
I'm living today like it was my last
Taking the time to reflect from my past
I choose to remember the times that I laughed
I'm choosing right now to let go of the bad
So with these words I'd like to give thanks
A lyrical hug filled with love and much thanks
I praise God for you and I thank Him that I
Do not have to live on wondering if I
Was accepted by those who I wanted to love me
In my mid-thirties I finally see that He loves me
He showed me His love when He said I forgive
Then He touched me where it hurt so His love I could feel
So with these words I hope that you
Can feel the love of God regardless of the pain that we went through
Pastor Scales I know that you're real
A man of God; filled with much zest and much zeal
A man of faith and you walk the walk
You're not like others who just talk the talk
You show that you love and you readily forgive
Never throwing people away and I've seen how you live
You stay accountable to God; what more could one ask
You never quit on your dream; God equipped you for the task
So as I live this day like it were my last
I say, thank you Pastor Scales for forgetting my past
Thank you to all my foes and enemies
If it weren't for you I wouldn't know that Jesus was a true friend to me
Thank you God for allowing my son
To show your love to me as so many countless times he has done
You instilled in Daniel a love that cannot be shaken
He has a love that is true it cannot be faked and
He has godly compassion and a real concern for others
I've seen him give away clothes and shoes to single mothers
My son is loyal; he does what he says
He never complained those times I couldn't buy any bread
Even with the small things my son says, "Mama, thank you"
Never once has he cause me heartache, Lord I thank you
He's easy to please; not easily touched
When I tried to buy him expensive things he said, "That's alright mama, it costs too much"
When I ran out of money and needed some gas
The ten dollar bill I had given him weeks earlier; he gave it back and I didn't even ask
God you made Daniel a blessing and all that I ask
Is that you join him to a blessing as I live this day like my last
Thank you Michelle and brother Mike
Thanks for the times you helped when my finances took a hike
Thanks to my aunt and uncle who
Took me in when the state could have claimed me too
I could have been a statistic; just another number
But God touched a man's heart and kept me out of that concrete jungle
Thanks to the ones who made an impact on my life
Only a few and I'm forgetting the strife
Cause I'm living this day like it was my last
And for a brief moment I'm forgetting the bad of my past
I'm pushing it out of mind like sheriff's do evictions
Serving papers on the past like what truth do to superstitions
Just wanted to share what my heart has carefully masked
It's now out in the open; I'm living this day like my last
I'm living today like it was my last
Taking the time to reflect from my past
I choose to remember the times that I laughed
I'm choosing right now to let go of the bad
So with these words I'd like to give thanks
A lyrical hug filled with love and much thanks
I praise God for you and I thank Him that I
Do not have to live on wondering if I
Was accepted by those who I wanted to love me
In my mid-thirties I finally see that He loves me
He showed me His love when He said I forgive
Then He touched me where it hurt so His love I could feel
So with these words I hope that you
Can feel the love of God regardless of the pain that we went through
Pastor Scales I know that you're real
A man of God; filled with much zest and much zeal
A man of faith and you walk the walk
You're not like others who just talk the talk
You show that you love and you readily forgive
Never throwing people away and I've seen how you live
You stay accountable to God; what more could one ask
You never quit on your dream; God equipped you for the task
So as I live this day like it were my last
I say, thank you Pastor Scales for forgetting my past
Thank you to all my foes and enemies
If it weren't for you I wouldn't know that Jesus was a true friend to me
Thank you God for allowing my son
To show your love to me as so many countless times he has done
You instilled in Daniel a love that cannot be shaken
He has a love that is true it cannot be faked and
He has godly compassion and a real concern for others
I've seen him give away clothes and shoes to single mothers
My son is loyal; he does what he says
He never complained those times I couldn't buy any bread
Even with the small things my son says, "Mama, thank you"
Never once has he cause me heartache, Lord I thank you
He's easy to please; not easily touched
When I tried to buy him expensive things he said, "That's alright mama, it costs too much"
When I ran out of money and needed some gas
The ten dollar bill I had given him weeks earlier; he gave it back and I didn't even ask
God you made Daniel a blessing and all that I ask
Is that you join him to a blessing as I live this day like my last
Thank you Michelle and brother Mike
Thanks for the times you helped when my finances took a hike
Thanks to my aunt and uncle who
Took me in when the state could have claimed me too
I could have been a statistic; just another number
But God touched a man's heart and kept me out of that concrete jungle
Thanks to the ones who made an impact on my life
Only a few and I'm forgetting the strife
Cause I'm living this day like it was my last
And for a brief moment I'm forgetting the bad of my past
I'm pushing it out of mind like sheriff's do evictions
Serving papers on the past like what truth do to superstitions
Just wanted to share what my heart has carefully masked
It's now out in the open; I'm living this day like my last
Monday, August 03, 2009
Love Sucks
why is it so hard to get closure after ending a relationship? Dealing with the person becomes a necessity when there are children involved. try as i might, it is so hard to shield and protect my heart from the one person who had it for 3 years. why is it that just when you think your heart can't hurt anymore something comes along and its like the hole has been ripped open again. this might be a pity post. it might not. all i know is that i'm tired of hurting. i don't want to be one of those women who becomes bitter after heartbreak but i can see how it happens. and why is it that the heart refuses to listen to the mind when you tell it not to care anymore? how do you just stop loving/caring about someone after all that time?????? guess that's the million dollar question...
Friday, July 31, 2009
WTF?????
i was blessed today to read a very interesting blog (http://bluesodacake.wordpress.com) regarding Tela Tequila. i can't believe some find this chick attractive. there is nothing appealing about dumb/ignorant people. tela basically feels that because she has a vagina that she should be able to use it to get ahead. not her mind, her intellect, talent (if she had any), nothing.......and what kills me is that our kids watch people like her on MTV and think their behavior is acceptable and ok to do. just some random thoughts during lunch.....maybe i'll post again....
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
This is not a pity post
I have heard that it takes time and patience to get over a broken heart. Does the same apply if it feels like your heart has been ripped out and all that's left is a jagged hole where it used to be?? I guess I'm just thinking that when you invest time with someone it's with the expectation that it will go somewhere. When it doesn't.....I guess, for me, at 28 years old and 2 kids that I'm not all that excited about single nor am I excited about dating again. It's so much different when children are involved. In my eyes it makes dating harder because you can't just bring random people around your children. I look at my son everyday and think your dad should be here. Life for us was not supposed to go this way. I should still have my family all under the same roof. All I can do is pray and ask God to order my steps down the path he wants me to travel. But dammit, love hurts.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Dream Come True
when you look at me, what do you see? do you see the good woman i want to be? i look at you searching for love everywhere when i'm standing right in front of you and you don't even care. why can't you see that i'm what you need? that everything you're looking for can be found in me. those nights when you're cold and don't want to be alone? i can be there to hold you and keep you warm. those days when you're stressed and need to vent? i can listen and console you so that you know it's for me you were ment. when your friends turn their back and noone is around, i'll be the one to turn that frown upside down. all this and more i'm willing to be and do for you. i can be your everything. maybe even your dream come true.
Plan "B"
oh shit. dam boy i missed you. you don't know everything i've been going through. these guys out here-they don't know what i need. but you- you on the other hand, can always succeed. you know all the right spots and all the right places. you know what to say and how to move to make me make faces. you don't know how much i like it when you talk to me like you do. i don't have to imagine anymore cause you're my dream come true. not even pressed about whether us will be "we". you remain what you are. my reliable "Plan B".
orig written: 8.24.04
orig written: 8.24.04
Just My Thoughts
lost. confused. lonely. frustration, why do i feel all of these things? it's crazy the way my mind flits back and forth like aaliyah thoughts changing so rapidly. hard to keep focus on my goal. always looking for something to soothe my soul. scared of the unknown not ready to take the leap. scared of what it could mean. not sure if i'm ready to meet me.
orig written: 11.7.03
orig written: 11.7.03
Quickie
quick touches, light caresses
sweat on our brows
2 people, 2 souls, 2 bodies come together as 1 beautiful extasy filled moment
thaks hon. just what i needed
see you tomorrow?
same time, same place
peace
oirg written: 7.3.03
sweat on our brows
2 people, 2 souls, 2 bodies come together as 1 beautiful extasy filled moment
thaks hon. just what i needed
see you tomorrow?
same time, same place
peace
oirg written: 7.3.03
"Small" Problems
DON'T GET ME WRONG, I LOVE MY MEN, MY BROTHERS, MY KIN. BUT HERE LATELY THERE'S A PROBLEM THAT NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED. IT'S IN A VERY IMPORTANT DEPARTMENT: S-E-X. NOW IF YOU KNOW THIS PROBLEM DOESN'T APPLY TO YOU, HANG TIGHT, COOL OUT I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU BOO. BUT FOR MY LITTLE DICK BROTHERS, WE GOTTA TALK. YOU'RE TALKIN BIG SHIT AND NOT WALKIN THE WALK. I HATE IT WHEN A BROTHER GETS ME HOME. GET ME ALL HOT AND BOTHERED WHEN WE'RE ALL ALONE. LITTLE WHILE LATER, I'M READY TO BONE BUT DAM BOOBOO, YOU CAN'T MAKE ME MOAN. NOW DON'T THINK THAT I'M ALL ABOUT SIZE, I'M JUST USED TO SEEING A LITTLE MORE THAN THAT WHEN I MAKE YOU RISE. YOU SWORE UP AND DOWN YOU WERE KING DING-A-LING BUT DAM BABY YOu DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO SWING. STOP PLAYING WITH ME WHEN IT COMES TO THIS. JUST SOME GOOD, LONG LOVIN IS ALL I WISH. SO IF YOU THINK I'M TALKING TO YOU, I'M ONLY BEING REAL. SORRY BOOBOO, THAT'S THE DEAL. SO IF YOU KNOW THAT YOUR SIZE IS NOT UP TO PAR, KEEP ON ROLLING PLAYER, DON'T LOOK IN THE CAR.
ORIG WRITTEN: 11.17.02
ORIG WRITTEN: 11.17.02
Searching
i'm searching for someone that i cannot find. someone who can touch my heart as well as blow my mind. someone with a gentle touch to send shivers down my spine. someone that knows it's not just sex but can make love to my mind. tease me with your touches, tickle me with your tongue. do all the things that you can do to make me think that you're the one. i want a man that can make love to me until i say no more. but on the flip side he can bang my back out from the bed down to the floor. i want a man to please me for than just five minutes. don't get me hot and bothered then just fall out when you get it in. can i get a nut? an orgasm that makes me cry? a touch to make me stop and shake and tear drop from my eye? i promise i don't ask for much. just a man to treat me right. someone strong enough to make the lovin last more than just one night. are you that somebody? come prove that you're the one. show me you're the man i need and have been searching for all along.
orig written: 11.17.02
orig written: 11.17.02
Friday, April 14, 2006
Friends and Money
they say you should never mix friends with money-and now i understand why....
when it's time to pay up you start to make excuses and lie....
i will admit you are a friend that's good...
but dammit why won't you keep your word?
the bills pile high while i bust my ass to keep caught up...
and you sit around like you just don't give a fuck.....
don't wanna leave you down with nowhere to go...
but i can't take this shit and you really need to know....
if you're for real then it's time to show and prove....
cause you know actions speak louder than words.....
when it's time to pay up you start to make excuses and lie....
i will admit you are a friend that's good...
but dammit why won't you keep your word?
the bills pile high while i bust my ass to keep caught up...
and you sit around like you just don't give a fuck.....
don't wanna leave you down with nowhere to go...
but i can't take this shit and you really need to know....
if you're for real then it's time to show and prove....
cause you know actions speak louder than words.....
Thursday, April 13, 2006
I Laid In the Bed and Thought About You- a poem for lost love
i lay in the bed and thought about you today. I thought of our conversations bout this n that. whether that rapper was hot or whack. which people need to get off crack that's all up in the spotlight but....that's another conversation. trippin off the people in your past that took paths they never knew where they would lead. political figures promising hope, delivering disappoinment daily with no thought to what the REAL meaning of hypocrisy is. dam i miss talking bout this kinda stuff with you. how even though las vegas is about a casino it's really just another vegas csi. how aaron mcgruder is a damn funny black man with a fresh and true sense of humor. dam those were the good old days. chillin in the bed just knckin back while we politic and i chief and we speak and it's just peace. dam i laid in the bed today and thought about us. that old combination of we that has now split to become just me. but i miss that old we. that spark. that something that can't be created or duplicated-that original something that was just we. even if we can't get it back-i laid in the bed and thought about you today.
orig written: 3.13.06
orig written: 3.13.06
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